Hi. My name’s Timmargh and I like to dress up as a gorilla and dig for worms in the garden whilst humming “My Baby Just Cares For Me” by Nina Simone.

Actually, that’s a lie … my name’s Jeff.

I bought a kettle! Not just just any old kettle but one that I can actually use! Being a crip with the lovely muscular dystrophy and even lovelier weak arms I find it difficult, nay impossible to lift a kettle, especially one filled with scolding hot water. So I dug deep into my pockets and got myself a Tefal QuickCup. I’ve used the cradle thingies in the past that allow you to tip a kettle without having to lift it and, whilst they do the job, I’ve often spilled hot water everywhere because while I could tip the cradle it was sometimes difficult to stop it sliding forward or tipping too far. The QuickCup heats the water in three seconds and while it doesn’t quite get as hot as a standard kettle, it is really handy for me as I can make my own and anyone else’s drinks now. The only downside of this is that I am able to feed my own caffeine addiction and have to exercise restraint on the number of cups I make!

I bought 300 on DVD a week or so ago and it’s still a great film. I ordered it the day before the planned postal strike but didn’t actually know about the sodding postal strike until I started wondering where my DVD was. Still, it came a week or so later and it’s still a great film. Did I mention that? That it’s a great film?

I also bought Annie Lennox’s latest album: “Songs Of Mass Destruction”. I saw it when I was browsing the iTunes Store and, remembering how much I love “Into The West” on the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King soundtrack, I thought to myself: “I’ll buy that!” Unfortunately, it wasn’t for sale under iTunes Plus which, while slightly more expensive, offer tracks at a higher audio quality than standard iTunes music — 256kbps as opposed to 128kbps (theoretically, the higher the number the better quality the sound should be). So, I ordered it on CD instead and was glad I did: it’s an excellent album with some superb tracks.